HONESTLY SPEAKING

An Education in Domestic Human Trafficking

In the past weekend, my eyes have come to open to the realities and tragedies of Human Trafficking. I didn't realize that it was in my own backyard, but it seems that LA is one of the several hubs in the US. Other cities are San Fran, NYC, Boston to name a few. 

As I prepare to launch Life to the Full Curriculum I am trying to look at where some of the proceeds will go. I am thinking right now that I will put half of my tithe to Kiva.org and half to a human trafficking organization, or maybe several. 

I just talked to my friend Rachel Johnson who is working with an organization called Touch a Life Foundation. We talked through my situation the other day...which another organization is working on...and she led me in the direction of a few books that she'd recoommend.  Rachel is working with slave traders in Ghana and is concerned with foreign human trafficking, though is in relationships with many organizations domestically who are active in stopping this kind of thing in our country.

I would like to recommend the books to you too so we can all become educated with the problems. I am hoping to become a volunteer.  With so many great needs in the world, I have passion for many of the injustices around the world and spend a lot of my time trying to help children understand these things. I feel as if God has placed a new passion in my heart this weekend for a specific way I can funnel some of that passion. I believe firmly that we are not to be focused in 100 directions...but to pray "Lord, where do you want to use me" and then be committed to that cause. Too often our generation becomes too gratified by partaking in the "Hometown Buffet" of non-profits...which rarely leads to lasting change.

The book that Rachel recommended to me is called "Not For Sale"  by David Batstone who began the organization Not For Sale Campaign 

Like I said in my last post: "Ignorance does not make us Innocent"

Also, check out www.callandresponse.com

Is the cost of your 20 dollar foot massage much more?

I went today to treat myself to a foot massage in the valley. I'm not going to reveal the exact location at the advice of an organization I'm now in touch with who is looking into it. More on that perhaps later. This was my third visit to this location and each time the manager at the front has given me the creeps. He's a scraggly white man who looks like he's a shady life and you can see it in his eyes. It's like you can't even see his soul...that kind. I walked in this morning, to notice another man across from him and they told me to a wait a minute. I was ushered into a room with 4 chairs and a young woman started to work on my hour long massage. 

These massages are called "foot massages" but they are actually wonderful full body massages. 

My massage was very nice and relaxing. She was sweet, respectful, and spoke no english at all. 

When I walked out she said "you like my services?" I said, "yes, very much. thank you."

She followed me and stood waiting for a tip. I rummaged in my purse for the gift certificate I had been given. I gave it to the shady man at the desk and then opened my wallet and found four 1 dollar bills and handed them to the girl. She remained standing there.

THe man behind the desk looked at his buddy who was equally scary looking and said "you should try her. She's new. We just brought her here."

THe man said "how much did you give her?"

I said "four dollars"

He said "Well, if you liked her services, you should give her more. She works on tips alone."

I said, "then where does the 25 dollars go?"

He said, "she works for tips". 

I started to get angry. I said "sir, in our country we pay people a minimum wage. Is this what you're doing bringing people from China to use them as slaves?!"

He said "Yes, yes, minimum wage. It's just good you pay her more because she only works for tips. Sure, sure, that's what I'm doing...managing slaves."

I said "are you the owner?"

He said "i am the manager"

I said "what you are doing is illegal, terrible, and I will be reporting you and will never return. Are you comfortable with yourself managing chinese slaves?"

I said this as a customer walked in. I wanted him to hear me say this so he would know too. 

THe man behind the desk just said "thank you very much, thank you very much" in repetition to get me out of the shop.

I looked around the place, and I just got more and more angry. 

It felt dark and evil, and I hadn't wanted to believe my intuition was correct because the prospect of a 20 dollar 1 hour massage sounded like a great new routine for me. Convenient, affordable, relaxing. It can't be these things if it means we are contributing to the treatment of immigrants. Whether legal or illegal, we each should treat every human being with dignity. 

I closed the door firmly and walked out to my car thinking of who I knew and who I would contact today that is involved in investigative reporting. I know the issues are complex but I think the first thing we need to do is expose these horrible practices that many of us are not aware of. 

I thought inside, "this is righteous anger. I will not be able to ignore this."

So, I tell you this story to tell you to be very careful when you consider the things you do and pay for.

 Ignorance does not make you innocent. 

I will keep you updated as I pursue this thing that has been revealed to me. 

I came home and saw a flier on my table that said "christians concerned for Burma" and I thought, yes, yes...I am concerned for Burma and now...I am concerned for Ventura Blvd.

Human trafficking is something we hear a lot about, or not a lot about, depending on what you're reading or listening to I suppose. I just have always wondered "where is it? I don't see it?"

Perhaps this is the day my eyes are opened.  

I found this article worth reading

Anonymous?

I'm home tonight, enjoying a beautiful quiet night. My soul feels very quiet and surprisingly melancholy. Could be that I need some sleep...or that there are some deeper losses and sadness that are surfacing a little. I'm alright with a melancholy night. 

LJ is here and we're comfy on the couches, candles lit, and listening to my favorite XM radio station: Coffee House. It's nice to have a friend like her that doesn't require a lot of conversation to be comfortable. Rare to find these friends. LJ is my intern this summer...and it's delightful. She stays a my house a few days a week. I look forward to those nights.  Tonight we made french toast at 9pm because we weren't hungry at dinnertime. It's a cozy evening.  The comfort of being in the room together yet not having to say anything is something I hope to find with my future husband...whoever he is...space to think...but not alone.

I've been thinking a lot about my private and public life. What do I want to share? What do I want to keep private? What is mine to hold dear...between me and God...and what do I want to share to open up space for others to experience freedom and that much needed feeling of "me too!"

There are some things I would like to write about. Things that I think could be very helpful if shared...not really for my benefit...but for others.  I am just so cautious...more than I used to be...to share and unfold those things that I find private. I know the sacrifice of sharing...and sometimes it is more of one than others. 

I guess I'm just wondering what it is that God wants me to do with some of this that I know I have a lot to say about...but of which I would rather be silent on. Hmmm interesting. 

See...now I've just been vague and strange. There's the rub. 

Perhaps I'll make up a penn name. That might be just the trick. A blog under a different name...hmmm...

I think that might just work. I'll have to come up with a believable but dreamy name. :)

Or, should it be a really obviously fake name. Perhaps it can be an anonymous blog for many of my writer friends who want to write some bold things and not have their name forever linked to it.  Might be a great idea...what do you think?

I just think as I get a little older and more secure in who I am...I don't have as much of a need to share my every thought with the world.  I think we are far to public with our lives...and I am probably twittering and updating my status less often with less detail now to have a little more anonymity. Anonymity is totally underrated...I gotta be honest. 

Well, that's my rant for the night. Hope you have a lovely Thursday.

living in the tension

Here is the written version of my sermon yesterday:

I’ve spent the last 3 years writing Sunday school curriculum, and in doing so I've gone through most of the Bible. In doing this I have been given quite an education of my own, and it's been so wonderful. 

 One of the things I’ve noticed the most is that God is multidimentional, dynamic- we can not finish understanding God. There will never come a day when we will totally understand God…he is that complex and wonderful and unchanging, yet dynamic and full of emotion and love. 

   A friend recommended a book called A Severe Mercy. I liked the title enough to buy the book. I read “severe” and “mercy” next to each other and I though “well, isn’t that Jesus!?” 

The idea that God’s mercy is severe…takes my breath away. 

So is God also severely just? 

Do I like that He is just? 

Social Justice- not a cooler word out there right now…but is it deep justice…or just social? 

I was interviewed the other day by a professor in Kentucky about social Justice…he’s wondering why this generation of 18-35 yr olds is so passionate about it. We had an really fantastic dialogue about the next steps of where to take this generation ideally and how we need to back that passion with principle…the ones that we find in the Bible. 

I want justice for the poor, I want justice for the children around the world enslaved in the sex industry. I want liberation for those who find themselves enslaved by anything in this world…whether it be physical, mental, spiritual, or emotional…these are the things I am willing to live for. 

But do I want God to be just with me…or just merciful? 

Do we like very much that God calls us out of some of our sinful behaviors and creates avenues for transformation for us? 

Sometimes we do, with the easy stuff… But what about when it comes to the more subtle of injustices and sins in our life? What about the things that our culture has breezed right over and deemed “human” rather than “sinful”? 

We read often about living water, life to the full, peace that transcends understanding, but how do we let that become a part of our everyday life? Are those going to be theoretical things that we come to know when we die and go to heaven…or are we going to be a people who are willing to boldly expect transformation in our lives now? 

If the kingdom of heaven is full of these things…and God offers us that now, are we willing to allow Him to be Lord of our lives and understand both His mercy and his Justice? 

Read John 8:1-11

This is truly one of my favorite stories. Here a woman, ashamed…and Jesus steps in and redeems her publicly. Before we take a closer look at this story I want to just make sure you are aware that this may not have actually happened as it is not found in the original manuscripts of the bible. However, scholars agree that it is theologically consistent with the person of Jesus and we can look at it like a parable and understand Jesus more. So back in the center of the town, I imagine this woman: ashamed, broken, . She has been acused of being a whore. Called out. And the punishment? Death. 

According to their law justice was for her to be put to death. They were going to administer justice to her. ANd not because they cared about her, but because it was about them being right and catching Jesus in being wrong. 

Jesus redefines justice and adds in mercy. He loves her and looks at her and says “go and sin no more.” Or the message version says “go on your way. From now on, don’t sin” 

From now on, Don’t sin. 

How do I deal with that kind of justice? How do I live in that tension of both being extremely merciful, and yet just in a way that calls for transformation. 

Will she be able to do it? 

I don’t know. 

We don’t know the next part of the story, do we?

Does she continue sleeping around? 

Or does the love of jesus so transform her life from the inside that it flows out to the outside? 

I think that this is where we are able to live in the tension. 

The tension created by living in both a just and merciful way. 

When these two come together…it is LOVE. 

As Christians I think we can get apathetic and lazy and fall into one side or the other “if I keep this checklist of things well, I can cruise in Christian autopilot” Or we go about dismissing all of the darkness in the world and say “hey, Jesus forgives you, it’s okay.” 

This either or living is very similar to our western thinking which is polar in nature. We can tend as a culture to be black and white: we like to define things and understand them in a concrete way. 

When I was 12 or so I began really understanding that Jesus was asking for me to live every moment with Him. In my wobbly way of trying to understand this: I decided I wanted to be a great Christian. I tried really hard. I woke up a lot of mornings and prayed “okay, Lord, today I’m going to try not to sin at all!” I was really tough on myself…I wanted to be kind and friendly to all people, I was going to kill my brother with kindness when he ticked me off, I was not going to gossip (a tall order for a jr. high girl), and I would try not to use profanity. I wasn’t dating any boys, so I didn’t need to worry too much about that part of things…but I thought these are the things that can keep me living the way Jesus wants me to. 

And this…is religion. This is making a set of rules to try to create a way that makes us feel like we’re obedient. The rules aren’t the problem…but how they affect our living and our ability to show mercy is where they don’t fulfill Jesus’ true desire for justice. 

It would be like driving by the ocean, but never swimming in it. God wants more for us. 

Justice is restoring things to the way they are to be. 

Mercy is forgiving someone for something they don’t deserve to be forgiven of. 

If we believe that God created all of this and all of us with an intention of the way it should be…that there are right and wrong things then as people seeking God’s way, we should be about the right things in the world. 

We should also be about the restoration of things and people to their right place. This is why I think it’s correct theologically for Christians to care very much about the earth and that we should be joining if not leading the way to being green. 

I spend my days caring a lot about the restoration of peoples’ hearts and lives. I want to see transformation happen. I can only see that to happen if we are engaged in a deep understanding of our own personal sin and finding redemption in Jesus for that. 

Justice without mercy can become legalism or empty religion.

Mercy without justice is weak and can lack principle, depth, and become pluralism.

 It is in the tension of both mercy and justice that we come to know what God’s love is like. 

Back in the courtyard I imagine this woman taking the first step away from the scene. What is her life going to be like now? How does experiencing the love of God, the Love of Jesus, transform us? 

Have you come to look him in the eyes and show him your wounds? 

Have you been too afraid of what God might think of you?

Have you felt ashamed? 

It is only in our encountering the Love of Jesus that we can understand why it is one would live the Christian life. If you haven’t let Him look deeply into your soul with you…to even call justice to our ugly parts…and bring mercy to the brokenness…I would venture to say that you have only experienced religion.

 Jesus spoke against religion and called us into the true reality of the universe which is His Kingdom. It is a kingdom that is built on a beautiful redemption that happened on the cross, for you, for me, and that calls us into a freedom that will never leave us looking around for more…but will take our breath away and at times be so overwhelming that we can barely take it all in. 

I want to encourage you to take a risk. If you haven’t ever come to meet with Jesus about who you are and where you’ve been…then I invite you to do so. You don’t have anything to fear…because you will be met with a love you’ve never known. This Jesus who met the woman, is the Jesus you will encounter. 

If you do know Jesus, then I invite you to join me in continuing to venture to inviting him deeper and deeper into your soul. There is no limit to the depth of love He has to show us, and I am excited to know that love more and more every day of my life. Because the more we let him love us, the more we won’t help but be transformed, and we will be people of deep justice and severe mercy because that is what love is like and that is what this world is starving for.

A little update...

I had a lovely lazy day today...the way we're supposed to (but I often struggle to) spend our Sabbath time. I stayed in my PJs until an hour that I will not publicly admit to. Then my dear friend Natalia came over and we went to Starbucks to sit and talk and people watch. I saw a good 1/3 of Malibu Pres (okay, I'm exaggerating...but I certainly will never be without friends...I just need to go to Starbucks) 

We sauntered over to Albertson's and then to the nail place to get our mani/pedi...and then off to dinner later at the Counter in Westlake. I had the most fantastic veggie burger I think I've ever had in my life (and I've had several)

It's amazing what good rest can do for perspective and peace. I'm settling in very well here in Calabasas. The pace is just right. I love the constant views of rolling hills and oak trees. It's funny because I remember driving past this place on my way to Santa Barbara and I always thought it was such an enchanting part of the drive up the 101. What a treat to call this "home". 

I'm reading Romans right now...just the first read...and then I plan to get a study guide or something to take it deeper. I feel really enriched by reading the Bible. I highly recommend it. Life is so shifty and the news around us so daunting...it's good to have something deep to sink your mind and heart into.

On a much lighter note, I really enjoyed watching this by some of my friends at Bel Air Pres: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qs8Ts1Y3UpM

As far as books go...I'm reading a few. A Severe Mercy is the one I'm reading the most right now...but I've also picked up a copy of Rob Bell's "Jesus Wants to Save Christians".  

Life to the Full will hopefully launch June 15th (that is if I can meet all my deadlines on time) 

and I'm getting really excited about it and ready to see it all come together. I am looking very forward to focusing more on the marketing/sharing end than the technical part. 

Kind and Severe

I meant to do some errands last night and had been reading the bible most of the afternoon. I was creating the Sunday School lesson to send out to teachers and I became so enchanted with the words before me. They leapt off of the page and were filled with passion, wisdom, and heart...I felt like they were alive...and I actually believe that His word is.

I began driving down PCH, because I felt the Spirit leading me to do so. I passed a "beach access" sign on Broad Beach I'd never seen before. I did a U-Turn and saw D'Amores and decided that it was a good day for a slice of their pizza and I took it to the ocean and sat with it.

It was about an hour before sun down and I hadn't realized how much I needed to be still. I needed to sit and just "be". A lot of my living with Jesus feels like "doing" and I sense that God is urging me to see that less of this "doing" and more "being" with Him is what He desires for our relationship.

I sat and contemplated so many things. The intimacy with my God was so rich and deep it'd cheapen it to share it with you. I will tell you that i pondered the edges of the ocean. THey were curling into beautiful waves and no wave was the same as the one before. The ocean would swell differently...the water broke in these beautiful curling and powerful waves. It struck me that God is so infinite and wounderful like the ocean. He is dynamic and strong and full of passion. I saw a verse in Romans 11 yesterday that said "Notice that the Lord is both kind and severe" I found the ocean last night to be an alegory to this truth. The ocean is a deep and wonderful home to so many, but it is severe and powerful.

I thought also about how God being so powerful is important to me. If God was indifferent and not both kind and severe I would not find Him to be loving. Have you witnessed those parents who don't care? It is so frustrating because their indifference is so close to distain. It seems to me so clear that the justice of God is so directly necessary to the love of God...even if that Justice reigns over me too. I want a God that opposes the sin in the world that is so broken and ugly. I love that He will be angry for the things that aren't right in this world...and perhaps also in me.

I find this both unsettling and comforting. As I read through Romans 8 yesterday, I noticed the parts that were severe. I think I often notice the kind parts of the bible. I like them better. Yesterday I noticed what was severe, and i felt convicted and frustrated and called to a higher living. Noticing only the kind parts seems easier...but it does not bring about justice.

Justice has to start in my heart. I have to be willing to take all of what God is calling me to be and then also come to Him for the mercy He offers me when I can not live it all.

Seems the cross looses it's depth and dynamic beauty when all we do is worry about how to be nice. Love isn't just being nice...love is both severe and kind.

lovely, dark and deep.

I'm enchanted today by this ending to a Robert Frost poem:

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep. 

DC

I'm in DC for the week attending this conference. I'm not totally sure what to expect, but I'm excited. 

If I get a few more ideas about how to connect those who have, to those who do not...then it'll be worth it.

This summer our Sunday School "theme" is going to be: Rock and Roll Sunday School: World Tour. we'll visit a new country each week. I'm excited...and trying to think creatively about how to make it SUPER fun and meaningful. Backstage pass name tags, guitar hero game, oh the possibilities...

Oh! And of course everyone's in the band...and they all get band T-Shirts. 

I flew on Virgin America airlines which is similar but a different company than Virgin Atlantic. (same owner started it) I have to say...wonderful! I loved it. It was totally luxury and didn't cost it. It felt like the Jetsons had taken over...I had everything I could have wanted. the time passed really quickly. 

I find a few things funny in airports and on planes. Everyone's in such a rush! I think it's funny how the minute the plane lands everyone jumps up...only to stand there for 10 minutes. I'd like to think everyone is just stretching their legs...but they're far to anxious for this to be the case. :) 

I'm heading off to the Eastern Market Flea market (I love going to other states for these!) and then I'll head over to the opening ceremonies. 

Have a great day!

following Jesus

Following Jesus has been and is something I'm still trying to get better at.   I've not had a hard time really ever hearing God's voice, it's just that He is generally asking me to do things I'm uncomfortable with. I suppose this shouldn't surprise me, because all of the things Jesus said during His ministry were pretty uncomfortable. I wrestle with the words He often whispers to me. 

He is usually asking me to do something opposite of what I'd like to do. He's usually turning my reality upside-down. I don't like how that all feels...but obedience is good and disobedience is generally met with so much regret...I'd much rather make a fool of myself.

Tonight I was at Trader Joe's in Woodland Hills. The Malibu/Calabasas crew have to travel a distance for the opportunity to shop at TJ's or Whole Foods. I'm finding that the valley side of things offers better stores and more of the people I'm used to...more diversity and such.

Tonight I was walking into Trader Joe's and I saw Angelyne looking at some strawberries placed next to the entrance. I kind of inwardly smirked and thought "what a character".  I am sort of fascinated and heartbroken over these Hollywood icons who are obscure and unique. 

Angelyne drives a pink corvette and is often seen around Malibu with her assistant(?) who is a young guy about my age. It is said that Angelyne is 46...but I would add 10 or 2o to that number as I have looked at her closely. 

Well, tonight I was walking through Trader Joes and Jesus started talking..."Will you please go invite Angelyne to Church tomorrow."

I pondered how awkward it would be to approach this semi-celebrity and invite her to church. I reasoned that I had a lot to get done and that I was probably making it all up in my head. 

I couldn't shake the feeling. I had no way to really rationalize that Jesus would an alternate opinion other than  that he would like than for Angelyne to come to church on Easter Sunday and get to know Him a bit. 

I thought of how Angelyne is His child...His daughter...and He desparately loves her and even died for her.  If my Father had another daughter that He was desparately trying to communicate His love to...wouldn't you find her no matter what and tell her? So...I started looking for her in the store. 

I saw that she and her assistant were checking out and so I decided to walk outside and "look at the flowers". I felt like a stalker...I didn't know if I should go back in the store...but I just waited by the exit.  She came out of the door and I introduced myself and said that I'd seen her around Malibu a lot and wanted to introduce myself. She asked if I wanted one of her cards, and so she pulled one out of her purse. I took the sexy picture of her...and then proceeded to tell her that I worked at Malibu Pres and that I'd like to invite her to our Easter service at the park.  She thanked me and seemed positive. Her assistant wouldn't make eye contact with me...but that's okay.

So I am praying that she will come. I am praying that as she goes to sleep tonight she will get just a little curious and consider coming...

I'm praying that when she does come, she will hear the good news that she is loved and seen by God. She doesn't need to pay for a billboard for God to see and love her. He already does. Every moment. 

If you're serious about following Jesus, I think you should expect to have to do some kind of embarassing things that aren't totally socially normal. 

I got into my car and kind of laughed about the whole thing. I thought, here I am...in my hoodie and jeans buying orange juice and flowers and God uses me. I'm pretty ordinary...and yet the only reason I think God whispers all of these instructions to me is because He knows how much I love Him and how I'll do nutty things for Him. I figure if He went to the cross for me, the least I can do is invite one of His eccentric kids to church. 

a few new neighborhood friends

I'm getting really used to my new rhythm of life here in Malibu Canyon...I work on one side...and live on the other. Not too shabby. 

I drove home today, and my friend Julie came over to hang out and stuff easter eggs for our church's easter egg hunt. As I drove up and parked in my driveway, I walked to the mailbox to get my mail.

 The clouds were puffy and white, the sky a vibrant blue and the hills bright green with yellow flowers. It's almost so beautiful that I can hardly take it in. 

Four girls rode by on their bikes and I smiled and said hello. They stopped and asked if I was the new owner of the "pretty house". :) I told them that I was. We had a fun exchange when one of the kids said "who's mom are you?" I said, "oh, no one's...but I do love kids. I'm the children's director in Malibu at the Presbyterian Church. Sooo basically I'm so excited to meet you guys!" I learned all of their names and grades...2nd grade, 3rd grade, 7th grade, and 8th grade. 2 pairs of sisters. They were already telling me I should dig a pool in my backyard, have a party for Halloween (which they promised to attend), and that during the summer "we should hang out". I smiled and was so thrilled with this welcome greeting from my new friends. I told them I was going to be stuffing easter eggs for the kids at church and that I'd leave a few on my front lawn tomorrow for them to come find. They were beyond excited. 

As I went back out to my car to retrieve something else, they drove by on their bikes again (making the full loop of the cul-de-sac) I recited their names and then the 3rd grader told me where she thought I should hide the eggs so that no one would take them. As they left they shouted "Bye Kristie! See you soon!" I keep finding myself excited and surprised by the things God has in store for me here. Who knew He might even have some Children's ministry in my own neighborhood in mind. 

Yesterday I had 2 of my 5 year olds at the preschool come by to discuss their questions with what I'd told them about Easter.  I think it was their first time that anyone had ever told them about the cross...because they don't attend Sunday School yet. "If God is spirit and he is dead, then how did he have a baby son named Jesus" Wow. Smart kids! I love to get to hear their questions!

We had fun talking about the gospel together on my couch with their mom. Later the other brother asked "so if heaven made God, then who made heaven?" 

I'm painting my home office right now, meeting with my photographer to set up our photo shoot for Life to the Full curriculum, and getting ready to hopefully sell the curriculum come June. The other day I was walking through my house feeling like it's really much bigger than I need. I've struggled with this sense of "do I deserve this?" The Lord kind of straightened out my thinking...which was very nice of Him...because otherwise I just keep spinning. 

He spoke into my thoughts "I have given you this space so that I can do what I want to do through you" I thought "ohhh I see. Cool. Well that's fine then...this is really lovely!!" 

I just feel so different about life now that it doesn't include a 2 hour commute. It's refreshing to find space to live. I made some chicken tacos for Julie and I tonight, opened a bottle of wine, played my favorite tunes on my iPod, and had some friends stop by. Stuffed eggs, watched LOST. What a beautiful way to spend the evening...and I'm not all stressed out from driving a million miles in traffic. Whew! 

I hope you have a beautiful day and that you are able to enjoy those who live around you...and the space you live in. These places we live are a gift. They are a precious gift which are rare and unlikely gifts to so many in the world. I give thanks for it all...for the water that comes out of my faucet, for the people that live around me, and for the peaceful feeling I have right now as I end the day and go to sleep. zzzzz