HONESTLY SPEAKING

25

This whole "25 Random things about you has been quite a trend on Facebook. I thought I'd share it with you...as I think it's fun to learn about people in areas that don't normally come up in conversation. Enjoy!

1. I went to elementary school with Soleil Moon Fry while I was obsessed with the show Punky Brewster. I was in 1st grade, she was in 5th. I would look through all the classes of "big kids" and try to find her every day. It was my version of "Where's Waldo" I guess. She also lived 1 block away from me...so there was all kinds of curious stalking. Anyway, Halloween 2006 I dressed as "Punky Brewster" (vest, sunshine pigtail holders and even a dog purse with a bandana). Two days later while in line daydreaming at my starbucks, She tapped me on the shoulder and said "excuse me, I think you're next". I didn't tell her that I was Punky for halloween...but I was tempted. 

2. While working at Starbucks in high school Leann Rhymes said she would like to be my friend based on a funny story I had told her boyfriend (that guy from 7th Heaven). I didn't recognize her (because country music ain't my twang) so I said "Sure, Maryann" she turned and said "yes, we really really should be friends." They left and my friend Elise flipped out that I was so clueless. I never saw her again.

3. One of my favorite childhood activities was to reorganize and decorate my room. I still find this a favorite activity. Some things don't change. 

4. I desperately wanted to be on Romper Room and was very upset when I found, in high school, 2 VHS tapes at my boyfriend's house that had his name and "Romper Room" Yup. He lived my dream. 

5. I attended the Emmy's with my friend Michelle because her husband, the nominee, was on tour and couldn't attend. It was pretty fantastic. I think we may have enjoyed it more than he would've. 

6. Dustin Hoffman loaned me his Academy screeners while I was recovering from surgery a few years ago. He also loaned me all 4 seasons of Curb Your Enthusiasm and I bought the 5th. Hooked...even if it is super crass. A church worker probably shouldn't admit to loving such things...but whatever. You like me real. You said so. Oh and I also watched late night TV in his screening room. (my friend was his assistant for years)

7. I painted a picture on the construction wall outside of what is now Disney Studios because I won an art contest. I also was given 2 disneyland tickets and thought I was totally hot stuff. Probably was 3rd grade...

8. In Jr. High I kept wondering why my friend's parents had so many phone numbers. I found out they were huge drug dealers. I never told my mom because I really loved their house and who they were....so I kept going for sleepovers. These are the kinds of things that scare me about being a parent. :) Even the good kids keep secrets. I helped her hide some of a large shipment in her teddy bear and have still never done drugs...but have passively I'm sure. 

9. I felt guilty for years about a pocket full of pinto beans I stole from the produce section at the grocery store when I was 5. This is how much I can't lie. 

10. I have had to stop going to my favorite starbucks all on the account of a poor design choice. In a recent remodel, they have matched the wrong yellow wall to a new and awful green wall. It is too overstimulating now, so I have moved on...like a sad little nomad...I will write elsewhere.

11. Speaking of writing, you can amazon my name as I wrote a portion of a book for Children's Volunteers. I was paid 200 bucks for an immense amount of work...and some other guys name went on the cover. My name is however in the "copywrite" page section. Good enough. 

12. I dream of creating a show much like Mr. Rogers but in a homey cottage and teaching morality to children. It might be hosted by me and my husband (or some other man who acts like my husband) so we model healthy relationships. I will have to bring my friends on...so get ready...in 5 years or so for an invitation. 

13. I love to shop. I love pinkberry (pineapple, strawberry, fruity pebbles or coconut). I like my nails red and short. I hate it when they put too much water in my chai latte.

14. I like a healthy cynic, but hate being around negative people. If I wanna dream big, then let me. If I will fall hard, I did it to myself. I delight in friends who see the best in life and are bold and courageous to encourage others to pursue their best. 

15. I take pictures often of my feet in certain places. I feel like it's sort of a documentary of my life and the places i am. 

16. I have started writing a funny but insightful(I hope) book about being single, but will wait till I move & finish my curriculum project to really dive in too much...though it's tempting. I need to finish what I started. I hope to encourage women & men to live life fully no matter what season they are in. 

17. When I was a kid I was so frustrated by the horrible dry markers and nubs of crayons without wrappers offered to me to use at Sunday School. I hated the smell of the classrooms: mildew, cleaning products, and old floor tiles. I am very serious now about new crayons and markers on a regular basis for my sunday school classes...and when I have classrooms someday again...I'm all about a bunch of vanilla plug ins. I'm very serious about things smelling good.

18. I think I have a heightened sense of smell. This is probably why I need every space i spend time in to smell wonderful. I am very picky about my candles. 

19. I'm trying to be ethical right now because Kirk Cameron is on the waiting list for Valentine's Dance tickets...and I might have loved Mike Seaver...but a waiting list is a waiting list is a waiting list. 

20. I used to dance all the moves of the New Kids videos in front of my big window in my bedroom hoping an agent would drive by my house and discover me and invite me to tour as a background singer and dancer. 

21. I had an imaginary friend named Bobby. I used to talk to him on my pink rotary plastic phone.

22. I could never do a cartwheel, but my family all cheered when I did what I thought was one. Upon watching the videos of this era...I said "what the heck!?" and my mom said "oh, but you were so cute" 

23. When life gets too hectic, I have a fantasy of living in a cottage up in Yauntville where I work at a flower shop, ride my bike everywhere, and buy fresh produce on my way home and put it in my bike basket. I play great jazz music to candlelight...and laugh with friends in a slow paced lovely sort of way. Maybe someday I'll buy a little retreat up there. :) Los Olivos might work too. But maybe not enough fresh produce. 

24. I am obsessed with ebaying "fenton hobnail glass". I'm very picky, and I usually buy one piece a month. I never tire of it, but maybe you will when you see how covered my house will be in it. :) I also love flea markets...in other states. 

25. I am blessed with amazing friendships, loving family, and a God who I get to live in relationship with. I find life fascinating and exciting...and a little bit sad too. I'm comfortable with the meloncholly side of life because I know the hopeful side too...there is light...there is love...there is grace. I've found if you know these things...you can walk boldly into the fullness of all the sadness and delight. This is what I think the redemption of Jesus is about...so that we can feel free to live in relationship with Him and with each other. Beautiful stuff.

The end. 

That took longer than I thought it would. 

hopeful and empathetic.

I drove home from Target tonight and several blocks away I saw a boy, probably 16, running as fast as he could in a red polo shirt and khaki pants. He was headed in the direction of Target, and I can only assume he was running late for the closing shift. There was desperation in his stride, and it caused me to imagine what his life is like.

I am overwhelmed these days with a sensitivity to the anguish that the financial hardships of this season are like for so many. I sometimes feel it so much that I ask God to numb me for a little while...because I feel like I could just totally break down and cry. I'm grateful to have a job that is stable, and all the things I need...and I watch many around me barely making it all come together...and I worry. I am prepared to share. I worry about all the details that they will have to care for.

It was strange on Monday when I went to buy my groceries at Trader Joe's the men who were bagging my groceries were in their 60s. It was yet another reminder of the times we are in. Don't get me wrong, Trader Joe's is a great company to work for, but I have to admit I am accustomed to the staff being in the Gen X crowd and not the Baby Boomers. I could tell that a few were probably out of work studio grips and gaffers. I know the type. They were gruff and their customer service skills will very likely need a training session or two. 

I think of how these jobs, the ones that people have as a fall back, aren't going to be easy to find or acquire. Maybe the already aren't. 

Perhaps the poor will know how to cope with this season more than my friends who are/were rich. It's an interesting time...to watch the moments come where desperate decisions have to be made. Unlikely moments where you hear of the money of family dynasties falling apart...

I can't get into all the things I've seen in the last week, for confidentiality reasons, but I can say that it seems that the stress of this season is bring about an unusual amount of grief, sadness, fear, anger...and I grieve alongside so many who are loosing so much and who are left with pieces of their life in their hands. And if you feel like you only have pieces of your life left...I encourage you to seek God with all your heart...because you just might find deeper life than you've ever known before.

I saw a woman today who was collecting food outside the grocery store for the Venice food bank. She was earthy and fun. I had a nice chat with her about how they were doing at the food bank. She said it was baffling how much need is out there. She said they've seen an increase of 40%. She also said that htis was the first winter that they've had a "clothing crisis" where they just didn't have enough clothes and the demand was so high. I'm going to see what we can do at Malibu Pres to help. It's good to find out what the need is...and how we can meet it.   She was lovely and gave me a very great warm hug. I walked away thinking how great it was to hug a volunteer collecting food outside VONS...seems perfectly abnormal in a wonderful way. 

I believe Jesus brings us hope. In a real and tangible way, i believe if we trust Him...he will make our path straight. This is my encouragement....and I am hoping that you will come to Him for this too. It is not a hopeless situation...because He is our hope.

I've said it before, and I'll probably say it again...if there is one thing I've learned from going through hard times is that it is important that we hold hope and grief in the same hands. One without the other is fraudulent. As people we tend to rush to one camp or the other, but I am struggling to be a person who can walk boldly with both empathy and hope...and love.

Web surfing?

I meant to also say that I would invite you to visit and pass along my website

www.lifetothefull.net

It's been a project I've spent the last 4-5 years coming to create. I'm excited to share it all with you. 

If you know of an interested church...or would be willing to pitch it to your church...let me know and I'm happy to send you a preview package...that is...once I get it all printed. (in the next month or so)

Have a lovely day!

Life to the Full logo!

I am very excited. Not only did I have too much caffeine at BJ's tonight...I just received my logo for Life to the Full...the curriculum I'm launching. 

I want to share it with you! It's an exciting season of my life...excited for this all to come about as I have been working years and years on this! 

I hope you like the vibrant and yet still fun (and not too annoying-kiddo bright) logo. 

Big thank you to Christine Cohn for her design skills!  It's great to have amazing people on your team!

capturing beauty

My brother Greg has been in town this week. I took him on one of my favorite "adventures" and I took these pictures. It was BEAUTIFUL driving through the hollywood hills, seeing some art, and getting some tea at the Alcove

These pictures only capture about 20% of the beauty we saw and experienced.

 

This last photo is a Shepherd Ferry, the street artist- gone not street artist who created this Obama image that became so iconic to our culture.  Painted on the side of a buiding at about Hollywood and Hillhurst. Very cool sighting...Greg wins the prize for this one.

Waiting Rooms

It's been a long day. I'm exhausted but somehow not able to really sleep yet. My sleep has been in pockets the last 24 hours. 

I spent the night with some friends who are a family at Malibu Pres. Their amazing 1 year old boy was rushed into emergency brain surgery. It was very scary...and still is...but God has been so amazing and faithful to answer prayer.

I've been communicating all day with probably 100 different people. It's been such a privilege to get to walk in this deep part of life with my friends. I was thinking today how the trust developed in lighter moments, how the humor, and connections are all preparation for these darker times when you need to already be connected.

I promised to share something beautiful each day...I'll have to give you a rain check on Jan 2nd as my brother has the pictures I took on his camera. They're very pretty...can't wait to share.

This is what I wrote after I got home from the hospital last night:

Sitting perched on the waiting room sofa, she put her hand on his knee. In a knowing way, his covered hers and they sat awaiting the news to come of their baby boy. I watched as their wedding rings mingled together as they held each other in these moments. Moments that you never imagine will come. I looked at their hands and I thought of the weight of “for better or worse” and here they were in the midst of one of the “worse” moments where their one year old baby boy was in emergency brain surgery.

The room was raw and filled with a mixture of stillness and sadness. The “what ifs” lingered in the air. He rubbed her hand lovingly and they looked off into the distance in a way that told the story of all their hopes and fears mingling together.

New Years Post

I discovered the "genius" button on my iTunes at a friend's house on Thanksgiving. I've since really learned of it's genius. Tonight was no different. I was listening to Jeff Buckley and then clicked the little "Genius" menu and it loaded a wonderful mix of all of my favorite moody-chill-and-be-still music: Natalie Merchant, Joni Mitchell, Jem, Jeff Buckley, Jose Gonzalez, Coldplay, Feist, and some Fleet Foxes.

I have really enjoyed it tonight. I'm enjoying this time after Christmas very much. It feels very reflective and quiet to me. I've been spending time with wonderful people. Today the Love's and the Woolners. What amazing friends to have. 

Tomorrow I'll go to Bergamont Station in Santa Monica with my brother and maybe some of my friends.

I've felt sort of indecisive and mellow...not wanting to over-plan my vacation too much. It's been a struggle to help others who are used to my living a very scheduled life to comply. :) I am enjoying the whim of not having to worry about when and where I get somewhere. I like life this way. I think it's how I naturally flow best...but I am somewhat forced to be otherwise by my life and the things I feel called to accomplish. However...I'm going to try to keep things more peaceful and uncluttered. Less unwanted noise.

One of the things that I will share with you is that I am going to try to incorporate something beautiful every day. Whether I paint something, write something, take a picture...I want to create something...or notice something beautiful. Of course I will allow grace for the days I forget or am too busy...but the aim will be an ambitious one for "daily". I will blog them here, and I hope you will enjoy them...or maybe I'll create a separate webspace for the "beautiful things". 

I'm so happy to get to light a candle tonight and write a bit. It's been a beautiful new years day. I'm grateful. Hello 2009, it's nice to meet you. Welcome.